Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
