i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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