you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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