I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
