i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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