Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
