she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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