that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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