shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
