Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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