I just saw a hot homeless man
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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