Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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