Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
