I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
