I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just pee around me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
