If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
