Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
