All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
