We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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