I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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