Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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