Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
