FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
