Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
