Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
