Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
