Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
