Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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