i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize