Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
