Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize