and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
