Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
we made out on top of his cat.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
