Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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