she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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