I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i need some magic done to my vagina
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize