I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
