My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
smell my finger.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
