Im at strip club and am horny
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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