Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
