she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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