tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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