you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
