the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
