you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
