I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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