Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
