never play flip cup with pint glasses
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
