we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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