Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
