speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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