I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Your penis caused this!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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