All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
wow bdsm is so cute
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