Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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