ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
