I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
