I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
