how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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