Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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