so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
