Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
