god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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