She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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