I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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