Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
