we're chasing vodka with high fives
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
