Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
