is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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