She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
