did you get engaged???
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
