thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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