foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
