Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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