I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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