you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
